Recognize a job well done.

I feel like at work this is pretty self explanatory. However if your work is a frustrating and ugly place please refer to the last post and then do the right thing.

Personally this is a much more difficult task. I am a perfectionist and driven, so even if I do a good job, I still see where there is room for improvement. So, I can tell you that these same expectations naturally go to those around me. This is something that was engrained in me as a child.

It is all to easy to say to someone "You did a good job, but..." I can tell you from experience the person hearing this will only remember the words you say after but. I didn't understand this until I had a child, the word but after a praise statement completely negates any positive thing you might have said before it.

I do this to my poor daughter and she takes it like a champ, but I can hear my own responses to this as a child and I worry for her. I don't want her to settle, but I do want her to know that I see and appreciate all her accomplishments.

It is absolutely not the case for me. When I was younger if you had used a phrase like the one above I would automatically assume that I was a failure. As I became more self aware I realized what coaching really is and what it is for and I go seeking it out. I love to be told that I do a good job, but I much prefer any honest set of feedback on how I can get better at something.

Let us recognize that I am the exception and not the rule. Most people need to hear more frequently than they do, that they are doing a good job. In fact that small recognition will keep them doing a good job. Praise is like an addiction. If you get it you want more of it.

There is one catch however....sincerity is required to make it believable.

So what do you do if praise is not something that comes naturally to you? Well, I would tell you to take a page out my husband's book. When you want to develop a new soft skill, start doing it even if it feels awkward and your heart isn't behind it. With practice you come to see the benefits and your heart will join in the activity. Eventually you will be sincere and believable.

Go out and practice. Utter four small words to any deserving person...you did a good job. Then follow up with a specific example to ram it home with the person you are recognizing.

How do you feel when someone praises you? Don't you want to make someone else feel good about themselves too? If not' you should.

Try it out.