This is a very cliché saying, but it does represent what I am trying to say to myself today. Ultimately what I wanted to say sounds very righteous, which could lead to the message being lost. The phrase I usually use in my inner monologue would be “Do not worry or fear, have faith”.
If I am in a place where I am worrying about anything and everything, I start to get very down and see only the negative angle in all things. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking of all the bad things that could happen. Now as all of you who know me, understand that I am a planner. I think about the future whether that is an hour or years from now. It is sooo easy to start worrying and fretting about what is to come. Lucky for me my Husband, lovely man that he is, has helped me a lot in this territory. Don’t worry or fret about anything until it’s time. I am not God, I do not know what is going to happen in the future and while I like to think I can predict it often, I really don’t know; and my predictions are only for me to cope with the unknowing.
This is and continues to be a challenge for me to look at a situation that guarantees uncertainty and not turn it into a foreboding of certain doom. When I hear words like standardization, re-organization, streamlining…they strike fear into the hearts of those of us that are mere mortals. Instantly we are checking our employment status, trying to find that elusive resume that you haven’t looked at since you got the job you are in right now. Assessing your finances to determine if you can afford your lifestyle and not have a job. Even though you simply do not know what any of those words mean. Maybe those are companywide efforts that barely impact you, maybe it doesn’t impact you in anyway but impacts someone else. This is a good one, it creates a new combo, relief that it isn’t you, but fear that you could be next.
All these emotions are natural and part of dealing with difficult work situations. Preparedness goes a long way towards enabling you to deal with these situations. Manage your finances, make it a practice to keep you resume updated twice yearly. Do you job well, maybe even do a little something extra once in a while so your employer appreciates you a little more. In short be present and engaged in your life. This is the first step. The next step is to use your brain when these ugly words are spoken. Listen carefully to what is said, when you feel that fear and fretting starting to overcome your rational thinking, stop gather your wits about you and determine if it is really time to worry about this or not.
The last thing I want to say on this is be careful of infection. Attitudes are infectious. In a work environment where these ugly words are spoken, fear and fretting can infect even the most upbeat and comfortable employee. Watch for the symptoms and guard yourself against them like you would a cold or flu. People need an outlet to talk about what is on their mind, but you don’t have to get on the train to listen and be supportive. Just don’t help the person wallow in their fear.
All of this to say that for me, every situation that I am in is purposeful. I am there to learn something, take something from the experience. One example of a tough learning is being my Grandmother’s caregiver for 4 years and then going through the entire process that led to her death. Of all the work that required the end was the hardest part. Being strong, calm and functional when you are staring death in the face is not something everyone should have to do. I am grateful that there is a Hospice program and to those folks that do this work. However taking part in it as a family member is a transforming experience. Those are moments I was meant to have and I learned about my capacity to communicate and be honest in a situation that screamed for you to say nothing or try to keep thinking happy thoughts. Compassion does not require that you are cheery. On the other side of the coin, when everything is coming up roses, I try to stop and think about what this means to me what am I supposed to be learning. Almost always it comes back to me that what you give you get back in spades. When I am not worry about everything and instead being present and engaged, life is generally better.
All of that to say don’t worry about anything, get smart, get educated on a concern you have and make as informed a decision as possible. In all you do see the joy in it, look to the positive. Many clichés have a strong ring of truth.
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