You are Enough

we are selfish people instinctively. I recognize this in general humanity and myself for sure. Why do some of us thrive on that selfishness and others try to turn away from it and instead try to shed that like it is a sin to care for yourself. I don't know but it seems like all things in life you need a balance.

Can you teach it? Or is it genetic? Why is one person selfish while another is selfless? There are many in between. I know that it was years before I understood what my grandma used to say to me about "the road to hell being paved with good intentions". Many of us have good intentions on selflessness, but our need to feel good about ourselves gets somehow between our intent and our actions.

I am no different than any other mere mortal. I can resist my selfish gene better than the average Joe, but that doesn't mean that I don't try to take credit for what I did. Does it matter if I want credit? Or to be recognized for the good deeds that I have done? IF I am actually doing good deeds. Is the real judge where my heart is when said deed is done?

Well if you were asking my opinion on the subject (insert selfish gene here) the answer lies somewhere mixed up in both. You must do a deed that has no benefit to you directly because you truly have a heart to help. It is not wrong to want to be recognized, but to get recognition for the sake of recognition is probably not so great either. The recognition should be a surprising but nice sidekick to just doing the right thing because it is the right thing.

I have recently been asked why I have a motto that I am "here to help". I can honestly say that while there are many contributing factors I can sum it up in a simple description. When I die, I want to know that I have had a positive and meaningful impact on this world. It seems that the way that you know that, is when people remember you. Your everlasting life is in part created by the fact that you live on in the hearts of the people that you impact (presumably in positive way).

With that idea in my head it compels me to reach out and work everyday to have even a minuscule impact in a person's life. My heart aches for it daily, like the need to eat or breathe. That sounds so dramatic when you write it down. But truthfully my chest actually aches sometimes, to help where its needed.

When have you done enough then? Help your family, help those in need, pray for those that need it(not just the words, but with intention in your hearts), Have the grace to know that you can't help everyone, and the knowledge that you weren't put on this earth to do that anyway.

I struggle everyday with this question even though I know the answer. I AM ENOUGH. I have been enough since the day I was born. My only job is to work everyday to be the best version of the person that I AM. That is my job the ownership I take in that job determines the kind of success I will have in making that impact I am supposed to make on the world.

What were you born to do and be? Have you come to grips with the fact that you ARE ENOUGH? No? Well, no time like the present. Say it to yourself like a mantra. You are enough. Once you have that down you can begin the real work. Molding and shaping yourself into a person that lives intentionally everyday to be ENOUGH, to have the impact on this world that God intended. All you need is a little spit and polish AND WORK daily and intentionally to grow that "ENOUGH" to it's maximum height and beauty.

Choices

I got a suggestion that I should do a blog about not waiting for life to come to them. So let's see what I can come up with...

It's true, I know it's hard to believe but there are people out there that actually sit on their couch waiting for life to come and get them. When this mythical life happens everything they ever wanted or dreamed would take care of itself. What I want to understand about this group of people is how do they expect this to work?

Life is not like a story book. Opportunity does not actually call you on the phone or knock on your door. Mr. Wonderful is out there in the world, NOT the UPS guy. So how do you explain what I mean?

Well I would say this...The life you have is the life you go out and make. God gave us the power of choice, but its up to us to exercise that ability. If you can't understand why you find your life less than fulfilling then you have only to ask yourself what control do I have over this situation?

If you want to do something it won't fall in your lap, you have to go and get it. That can sometimes be as simple as asking, and sometimes that means researching, asking and pursuing what ever it is that you want or need.

I will say that we sometimes get mixed messages about this. We need to be "open to opportunity" and "Relax and let things happen". This is true, but like all things in life, everything in moderation.

There is an appropriate time to go out and experience what life has to offer and a time to sit down relax and bask in the luster that has become your life. But take a good look at that last sentence. Get off your couch and pursue your dreams. When you find fulfillment in something take the time to enjoy the results of those choices and actions.

What if I fail or it doesn't work out like you want it to? Then you try again. There was something to learn from the experience and quite frankly you experienced something and that alone is a great thing.

Good or bad, life is worth experiencing. Go out every day and try something new and different. Your life will be enriched and you will have an impact on the people around you. You mean something and it's up to you to give yourself to the world around you.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict. The word can strike fear into the hearts of many. How do you respond to conflict? Do you crave it? Like the way you feel powerful when you make people uncomfortable through a conflict? Or do you run from it like a cat from a pursuing dog? OR are you somewhere in between?

I can tell you this is a developed muscle of mine. For some of you that know, you know I am no stranger to conflict. That does not mean I go seeking it out, but I do face it when a conflict of any kind arises and I do make myself go into uncomfortable situations even though my instincts say to run for my life. Do I like conflict? No, but that's why I deal with it. I believe there is a happy medium on the spectrum of conflict resolution. I believe this is probably one of my strengths. I am no expert and probably have a lot to learn about properly resolving a conflict, but regardless I feel compelled to share some of my notes of learning that I have gotten as time has passed.

Sit back relax and see if you enjoy my pearls of wisdom...or whatever.

1. You are not a mind reader. No matter what happens to create a conflict all to often the conflict is a result of another complicating factor and less about the conflict itself. When a conflict comes up its important to realize that you are not the person that you are having conflict with. You have no idea what is going on in their life, or how your actions are impacting them in their particular situation.

2. People just want to be heard and Validated in their feelings. People in general are not good listeners. That results in poor understanding or interpretation. Compound that by a general lack of ability to communicate effectively on both sides opens up ample opportunity for conflicts. If you practice good listening or even take the time to validate and acknowledge a person's feelings or position you can defuse many a situation.

3. Communication is a 2-way Street. In any conflict there are two participants, you and the other guy. So that means that you have ownership in the conflict. conversely you have ownership in resolving a conflict.

4. Focus on what you can control. Focus on you. How did you contribute to the conflict? What could you have done differently to avoid the situation, but still found success? Have you apologized for your part in the conflict? The truth is you can only control yourself and the way you respond in any given situation. Are you being honest with yourself about your involvement in your life? Think about it.

5. Resolution is up to you. Refer to number 4. If you want resolution then you need to assess what is the best way to address the situation and find a common ground with the person you are in conflict with. This could be very direct like a private conversation, perhaps a letter/email, maybe you have to report it to a superior. Don't be afraid to ask for help. The key to this step is to genuinely care about the outcome.

It sounds simple on paper, the hardest part is walking up to someone and saying can we talk about ____? I ask you to remember this when you are faced with this situation...Don't you wish that the other person you are in conflict with cared enough to take the time to resolve the conflict with you? The answer is probably yes, so take a page from Confucius and treat people like you would want to be treated and work fora resolution.

You can do it! Just give it a try.

Big Decisions

I know we all like to think that we are in charge of our destiny. We get somewhere based on the choices WE made. This breeds ownership which I like, but can also end in a self confidence dive if the decision doesn't net the intended result. So I ask you...Do YOU make the decision or is there more to it?

I would lobby for the more to it perspective. Think about the last big decision you made. Did you just make the decision and move on or was there a process you followed? For instance some may make a pro/con list, others will pray for a solution or path to be shown to them and still others will want someone to make the decision for them, not wanting to make such a decision.

I say there are elements of all of the above in a big decision. Let's go back to elementary school when they teach you about science and how to come to a logical or correct answer to a problem. First you learn about a hypothesis and then you go about proving that hypothesis true or false. Decision making is much the same. A question is presented and then the decision maker must gather evidence that will lead to a decision or conclusion for the question. This is neither good or bad, but a result.

This leads to the next science lesson for every action there is a reaction. Once this decision is made there will be some set of consequences. Good or bad is determined based on the choice that is made.

When you break it down like that it seems like no decision is a big one, but that is simply not the case. Every major decision requires an evaluation of the current situation you are in and what impact the decision you are trying to make will have on your life. How can any one person have all the answers? They can't that is the issue. So what do we do?

Well, for me I consult people far wiser than me, or at least whose opinion I value on the subject. I pray that a path is opened up, in addition I pray that I am open to seeing that path once it is presented and lastly I reflect on decisions I have made before and determine what I can learn for those experiences. This process can take hours or days depending on the complexity of the decision.

What about emotion? I am an emotional person, but I do try to remove emotion as much as possible for big decisions. Break it down to the brass tax, what is the crux of the situation and what are the impacts of each possible decision. Weigh the good and the bad, then ask for someone who is honest and as objective as possible to get a neutral position. Pray about what or where is the right direction to go. Then with all the information you can make an informed and hopefully beneficial decision.

Who wants to exercise???!!!!

Really, who wants to exercise? I ask you this in all seriousness. Don't get me wrong playing sports is different, there is fun involved and competition. But fitness? Let's face it by definition it's designed to you to keep yourself healthy.

Yes, I can hear you now telling me how there are people out there that love to exercise. I am aware of this and even have friends that are those fitness freaks! I love them but they are still freaks! The truth is that the majority of this wide world of people have to force themselves onto that treadmill, elliptical or bike and watch those minutes tick by like watching the minutes tick down to the end of the school day. At the end of that workout we fly off the treadmill and out of the gym faster then we even did the workout ecstatic that we made it and proud that we completed that event without someone having to hold a gun to your head.

Sound like an exaggeration? You obviously have not spent enough time inside my own head. Case in point. I just ran 20 minutes straight for the first time since 1997! If that's not proof of people's great dislike of exercise or just plain ignoring its need or existence I don't know what is.

Do I feel better when I exercise? YES
Will I extend my life if I exercise regularly? YES
Will I loose weight if I exercise and watch what I eat? LIKELY
Could I continue this list for awhile, but you are a relatively intelligent person so I will respect that and move on...

I will admit that I am thrilled that I have been able to overcome my brain and my general desire to sit in front of the television in order to maintain at least some exercise regiment. While I am not thrilled with the idea of regular exercise and not putting whatever food I desire between my teeth. It has had a positive impact in my life. There I admitted it.

Losing 30 pounds and keeping it off for 2 years has given me confidence I didn't have, but I really struggled during and still struggle everyday to maintain. I have the energy to do so much more than I could before I committed to exercise. Believe me it hurts me to say it, but there it is.

The moral of the story today is while you have absolutely NO desire to get off the couch and move your fanny it WILL do some good and you WILL feel better when its done!

Get Movin!!

Don't THINK about it just DO IT!

Well folks, we are entering my busiest time of year. Football starts next week! What does that matter? I'll tell you, it means that My husband is working VERY hard and I have to pick up the burden of the house that he manages when Football season is not in.

This time comes every year whether I prepare for it or not, Football season comes to pass. I have learned over the years to prepare mentally and physically for this, but the fact is that when you are in it, you just have to do it and not think about it.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because many people don't understand how we handle it in our house, but the fact is that it is who and how we are so it works for us. I have do a lot on my own to keep the house up and it can seem overwhelming and in fact sometimes is. However, as you know I am here to help and this is helping Rob do a job that he loves and I am totally willing and want to do that for him.

Let me walk you through how it works...Rob's only house chore during football season is to Vacuum mostly because I hate this job and he is willing. I do everything else, Dog, Kid, House, Work, & Socializing. Seems like a short list written out like that, but that explodes in a hurry. My friends think I am crazy, but what can you do.

I just trust that the Lord gives me the strength to do anything I set my mind to and am willing to accept that I am able to handle anything with him. More importantly I don't ask myself "How am I going to do that?" I just determine what it is that I have to do and then set about doing it.

If you spend time making even the smallest step forward over and over again will cover a tremendous amount of ground. BUT if you stop moving you get stuck and find that it's even harder to get moving again. Dory in the movie Finding Nemo states it best "Just keep swimming"

You can probably accomplish 2 or 3 times as much stuff if you spend less time brooding about how hard or complicated things are and more time just looking your life in the eye and start moving through it piece by piece it will come together. Put a little faith in the fact that you are never going to get more than you can handle. HE has faith in you and with that in mind it seems that you should too!

I know easier said than done, but if you work at it you can make your inside voice quiet down and let the you that is in there waiting to bust out, come into being as it was intended.

A wise woman once told me that if you say you can't you won't! Those are words to live by. Instead just say to yourself that you can do it! and then DO IT!

Be OK with who YOU are.

Society is funny. We tout individuality and diversity, but everything about us craves uniformity. Think about it, when faced with something new do you feel anxious? Do you wish you could do something else, something more comfortable? It is in our nature to want sameness.

It seems to me the same applies to how we feel about ourselves. In our house we have labels for ourselves...I am Mrs. Responsibility and my husband is Captain Fun. Now initially you may think these are unfair labels and go into some mental tirade about why should the wife have to be Mrs. Responsibility and the man gets to have all the fun. BUT, before you go there understand what it really means.

It is in my husband's general nature to have fun. If he is faced with two choices regardless of what they are he is going to choose the more fun of the option even if its only infinitesimally more fun. He is capable and will choose the right option if necessary, but if right is not a consideration and only fun then FUN he will choose. Due to this trait in him, it is he who comes up with ideas for our family fun as well. We went to Disneyland because of him. Heck he is the reason we go anywhere besides our house really.

I on the other hand am, you guessed it Mrs. Responsibility. If faced with two options I am always going to choose the one that is the most practical and responsible choice. I am almost incapable of choosing the fun thing. Now the only twist on that theme is that I am happy to have fun, and willing to plan the fun, but somehow always twist some responsibility in there. Doesn't make sense? Well, let me explain. If I plan a party it is just that PLANNED. For the most part people will receive an invitation with an explanation of the event and what to expect. People will show up and have the event as advertised. While Rob has worked hard to help me find my improvising side, it is a hard fought effort and not always rewarding for me.

Now, with these two examples I then ask, if we know these things about ourselves why aren't we OK with it? I frequently find myself wishing that I got to be captain of fun. When I know that I would not be near as good at the job. My analyzing ways and lack of a care free attitude would severely dampen the expanse of fun that could be had. Practicality would win out and that really is a downer on the overall fun part of being Captain Fun. I am sure that some tiny side of my beloved Husband occasionally wants to be Mr. Responsibility, but let's face it that is not his forte and nor does he want it to be.

Why do we struggle with this? Why can't we accept that God made us who we are supposed to be and its our job to just cultivate that seed to its greatest potential. Well, I would say in my case it's my Brain's fault. It just won't shut up! Saying things like Why can't you do this, what's so hard about doing that? Why does he get to do that? Why can't you be more this? On and on it goes until you want to cry out "Why aren't I good enough?!!!"

I am here to tell you after almost 15 years of continually trying to improve myself, that the people in your life that you surround yourself with see through your feelings of inadequacy and lack of self worth. In fact most of them think about how they could be more like you in one way or another. You have an impact. You are important. You are God's purpose just as you are. The hard part is just remembering it once in a while.

Even harder is giving yourself a break and looking Mrs. Responsibility in the face and thinking...Man you are GOOD at being YOU!

Community Service

Over the last 10 years volunteering has gained support and popularity. First with teenagers, requiring a certain amount of volunteer hours in order to move to the next level of education or graduate high school.

In recent weeks it has reached a fever pitch with the President essentially asking the American public to volunteer, help in the community etc. Just get involved is the basic message.

I am in full support of this idea and want to get behind it 100%. What I want to know is how do I make it fit and does the activity in my own life count as assisting the community.

So let's use me as an example and see where we end up.

As the primary care giver for my grandma, this includes a weekly house cleaning, managing her medications and health care. As well as managing her finances and the hardest job is negotiating her food intake to manager her diabetes and maintain her food happiness. This rounds out at about 4-6 hours a week depending on what is going on.

Next is some volunteering with Seattle Musical Theatre writing documents for them. This is an occasional commitment, but when writing documents its about 2-3 hours a week until the document is finished.

Then there is the whenever you need me syndrome that I have. If someone says I need help with X, I feel compelled to do whatever possible to help with that.

So where does that leave me? Is it enough? I really don't know, but what I do know is that I somehow feel like I am never doing enough to help. I wonder if I am the only person that feels this way.

Here is where my dilemma is now. I want to go out into my community as our President has requested. However, if I am going to commit more of my time I want to choose something that really inspires me and that I am passionate about it. However, how do you determine what you want to do and how much time to commit.

I have a double problem, because I don't do anything halfway, so how do you choose and then maintain a reasonable amount of control in your commitment. If I am passionate about something I will throw myself into it and get really involved.

Am I making it too hard? There is also the idea that all the "Big" volunteer organizations don't need your help and then how do you get involved with "smaller" organizations where you will feel like you are making a significant contribution. Ugh...why doesn't the organization that needs me and knows I would be willing just knock on my door and ask for my help? It would be so much easier.

I am going to tell you this...I have been researching volunteer organizations for the last month and a half and I can't decide. I want an organization that I can help according to my schedule, use the expertise that I have is put to good use. Is that so much to ask? I don't know, but if I can ever figure out where to start I will be sure to let you know.

If you have ideas tell me cause I am open to any of them!

Circle of Life

Had what I call a circle of life experience today. My daughter had her first swim meet today. Summer swim team was an annual experience my entire childhood. Packing for the event, going, setting up the whole routine brought back some of my fondest childhood memories. Only this time I wasn't the kid but the parent. I was experiencing the same activity from the parents point of view. It's very weird actually.

Where you were the kid doing everything you can to lose you LAME parent, you are now the LAME parent trying to show as much support as you can outside to match the amount of excitement and pride you feel inside. All that gets you is the LAME parent label and a lot of "Mom you are embarrassing me!" from said child. All this got me thinking about parenting in general.

We have all said it as we were growing up. "When I have kids, I am never going to do that!". Well...now we have kids and how frequently do you find yourself stopping in your tracks and saying to yourself "I sound just like my parents!" Is that such a bad thing? How bad did you turn out really?

I am here to tell you that while I may not have understood or appreciated my Dad's efforts growing up, I turned out to be productive citizen and decent parent (so far). People in general do a lot of complaining about today's kids. How today's kids watch too much TV, are obese, disrespectful, lazy, entitled, the list can go on forever. Who's fault is that? Ours!

I ask you this...If you turned out to be relatively decent human being by at least maintaining Independence and a job then did you get what you needed from your parents?

The parenting job description is to love, care and raise your child so that they may be able to contribute to society and repeat the cycle for generations to come. If that's the case then your parents did their job. So the real question is are you?

You didn't like that you were punished for doing something wrong, but does that give you a healthy understanding of basic principles of decency? Yes. Why wouldn't the same thing work for your child? It would.

Our parents did the best they could with the resources they had. None of them are perfect, but on the whole they loved you unconditionally, put up with your tremendous attitude and here you are today fulfilling your destiny and what are you doing to maintain your end of the bargain with your kids?

I may be the mean parent, but there are many things I didn't like that my Dad did, I put them into play now.

The most obvious are:

• The word NO
• Consequences to breaking the rules
• Commanding respect of your elders
• Please and Thank you are not optional vocabulary words
• Chores are part of the rent you pay to live in the house
• Responsibility
• Expectation is high
• Competition is healthy

There are others that are less obvious, like courtesy, love, acceptance, encouragement, etc. All these things are required because children only know what they are shown. It is a rare child that understands the world and everything in it before you show them.

We aren't Nobel prize winning parents, just practical to a fault and trying as hard as we can to give our child the best opportunity for the life she is destined to have with the greatest success she can muster through her life experiences and training.

It's true what the experts say. Pay attention to what behaviour you are modeling because your children are watching.

A Sounding Board

How do you help people most? Interesting question really, but it is my belief that except in extraordinary circumstances people just need to be heard. There is no shame or harm in needing have someone hear you.

What a joy that is to take comfort in the fact that there is someone out there that when the need to share our feelings with someone, they will be there. We as humans like to interact and share. Good, bad, inane you name it we want to tell someone about it. We like talking about ourselves. There is a very small population out there that never wants to talk about themselves at least a little bit. So we need someone to hear what we have to say.

So how do we find this person? It seems there may be one or two people that would be constant in your life as a way to release that need to be heard. However you have different needs in different times in your life. The people you need will be laid in your path the challenge for you is to see that person in front of you in order to take advantage of the honest and true listener that is there for you using.

The way to see that person is different for everyone, but the first step is knowing that you need a listener and then you have to take a look around and determine who are you drawn to or even someone who seems to have a way with situations you know you need growth in.

The simple fact is that you are in charge of you and your destiny. If you don't take control of what you can control and let go of the things that you can not control you will miss that person that is out there waiting for the opportunity to hear you and then if you are really lucky give you honest sage advice that is actually applicable to your situation and may actually help you. How lucky you are to have taken notice and then taken as much advantage of it as you can.

You can only become a better person by finding those people in your life that offer you an opportunity to be heard and then make yourself a better you for all the world see and enjoy.

Learning to Ride a Bike

As a parent you should get a memo sent to you maybe once every 3 months or so that says the following:

Dear Parent,

Please remember that your child does not naturally know how to do anything that you don't explain to them. Try to remember this when you child is trying something new or even when its the 40th time they have tried it. The term practice makes perfect wasn't derived out of thin air. You will receive this reminder letter again in three months. This letter will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Regards,

Parents of times past.

Teaching a child to do anything will remind you of this, but with something like learning to ride a bike it is pronounced. Why you might ask? Well...everything is much more important for the child to grasp immediately. If you have a child like ours if failure is experienced in the early going then quitting or flat refusal to try is monumentally more likely. Especially if no training wheels are present.

As a parent you explain how to move the kickstand, get started riding, the need to pedal to keep moving trying to keep balance and don't forget to watch where you are going, etc. etc. This is all done in a quick 5 minute debrief that your 5-8 year old child is to absorb and commit to memory and then apply with great alacrity upon the first attempt to ride the bike.

Now you are practicing and you can see the child's brain working all the cogs and wheels spinning at a painstakingly slow pace. So you find yourself walk-trotting next to a child holding the back of the seat even possibly the handle bars while saying instructions loudly in hopes that louder will make the child process the instructions more efficiently.

Your neighbors are peaking out the window because they keep hearing someone saying in a loud voice things like "STEER", "RIGHT, TO THE RIGHT", "PEDAL...PEDAL...KEEP PEDALING", "TURN...TURNING...KEEP TURNING" "STOP...STOP!" Periodically a child screeching or flat our screaming perhaps crying. These same neighbors then see a parent change their tune to low volume of encouraging statements to cajole their child into trying again.

This goes one for weeks at a time. Why do we do this to ourselves? I'll tell you why. Because as parents we remember all the time we spent as kids riding over hill and dale and anywhere else those two wheels would take us. The adventures that we had both real and imagined. So with these fond memories in our minds we convince/cajole our children into learning to ride a bike and create their own adventures.

But here is the problem...we live in a different time now, where we barely allow our children to go anywhere without us until they are in their teens. Its not "safe" or at least society dictates that we as parents should not allow our children out of our sight for more than a millisecond. How can we expect children to make the same kind of memories that we had if there is no opportunity for them to go out and experience life as we did. Sadly I am of a mind that we do live in a different time and I don't feel great about the idea of letting my child run footloose and fancy free around the neighborhood, but we are working to find ways for her to create memories and have adventures, but in what would be considered safe under today's standards.

In the mean time we are walk-trotting next to the bike and drawing the attention of our neighbors. Happy parenting everybody!

Thursday Before a 3 Day Weekend!

Today is my favorite kind of day. The Thursday before a three day weekend. This is essentially Friday to most of the world. Everything is different about this day. Every person experiences it a little differently but for the most part there are some key similarities in everyone's day. From the moment you wake up you know that at the end of this day you will have 3 days to yourself to do as you please. Well at least you won't have to go to work.

You almost hurry to work in hopes that you will be able go home that much earlier. Most of the day is spent thinking about when you get off and what you are going to do. Working as little as possible or as fast as possible practically willing the second hand on the clock to move more quickly. Contemplating the actual need for food in the attempt get off another hour earlier since you worked through lunch at your desk.

When you dare to walk around the office its a different feeling. Everyone seems to be a better mood, more relaxed willing to kibitz with you about any topic but work really. Every conversation finds its way back to the real topic at hand..What are you doing for your holiday weekend?

This simple question can lead in any direction really. No matter the answer its an easy segue into any and all topics that prevent you from returning to your desk and actually performing the duties for which you are being paid.

This is a universal truth for all levels of employment. Don't let those VPs fool you! They are thinking about the end of the day probably more than you are. Where do you think the idea of letting people go early before a holiday came from? It's not like some employee suggested it and a VP was like "that's a great idea! Let's do it!" No way, and the beauty is all the employees love them for it. It's a win win situation for all people involved.

Then the time comes...you have anxiously awaited this moment since your alarm clock went off this morning. Like a horse out of the gate you gallop to your car smiling and waving to all those poor saps that are still sitting at their desk watching the second hand turn until their freedom bell rings. As you crest the the threshold of the exit to your office building you feel almost light enough to float to your car.

This is the part I truly can not understand. I am guilty of doing it, but I still don't understand why we do this to ourselves. Every three day holiday weekend we kill ourselves during this time to accomplish a thousand things. Ranging from social engagements to home improvements we work tirelessly to accomplish enough activity to last until the next holiday. What is wrong with us really? Why not stay at home sit on the couch or go for a walk. Oh well, we are who we are.

To all those Holiday Crazies enjoy this weekend of insanity and look forward to the comfort that work will be back on Monday and you will be able to relax!

Bedtime Routine

Putting my kid to sleep. She is at that age where they need to do it themselves, but simply cannot stay focused enough to get it done.

As a parent you turn into this person you told yourself you would never be. Wandering around the house muttering to yourself about why your kid just can't listen one time to a word you say. Eye rolling as they ask you 10 times in 10 seconds what it is you asked them to do. Or better yet simply ignoring you a living in their own reality which apparently has not method for time keeping or recognition of the passing of time in general. Suddenly you find yourself standing in their doorway with the look of crazed zombie, breathing fire and shouting (affectionately called the screeching mommy) about how hard can it be to put on pajamas, brush your teeth and get into bed!

Suddenly you stop yourself take a mental inventory and say calmly that if you can't get this done on your own or in 5 minutes, whatever..Then no story time, no before bedtime routine. Luckily my daughter doesn't get out of bed 15 times, but getting her in can be a challenge.

Tonight is no different, sent her to her room at 8 to get into pajamas etc. at 8:30 she came out in pajamas and claims to have made bed as well. Feeling proud that I managed to sit quietly while this took place asked her if teeth had been brushed etc. She promptly states I hadn't asked her to do that, but she would do it right then. Heads to bathroom and starts playing music box in the bathroom rather than actually brushing teeth. Yell to remind her start brushing her teeth....random toothburshing sounds emitted from the bathroom. She returns and states that since I didn't leap from my chair that she will now have to sleep on the couch because I was not ready to do the nightime routine the second she crossed the threshold of the bathroom.

Now 40 minutes past bedtime I send her to bed. She asks very politely if I will sing to her one time. Right then I DO NOT want to sing, but the little voice in my head says she won't ask for this forever. Internal struggle ensues for one quick minute because you must decide quickly. Children smell indecision like fear and jump on the opportunity. Instead of going to her bed I sit her down next to me sing quickly exchange a warm good night parting and send her to bed.

All in all, no yelling (at least in anger) and while she was 40 minutes late to bed, she went there amicably and I managed to control my intense desire to resort to screeching mommy. It was a passable experience had by all. What more can you ask for?

Here to help. What a great phrase. I use it all the time. The beauty of that phrase is it can be used in any context really. In all honesty I try to use it with sincerity 98% of the time...Ok, that's a lie. I use it with sincerity probably 85-90% of the time. The rest of time it could be anything.

Think about it...Say it in your head with all different attitudes. It sounds different every time.

Sarcasm - I'm here to help

Irony - I'm here to help

Frustration - I'm here to help

Emergency situation - I'm here to help!

The list goes on.

Now the question begs to be asked...What are you to here to help with?

The Answer, well that depends on what the question is. Generally speaking I try to help with any situation. Being out side most situations allows objectivity or at the very least another point of view. I can't promise objectivity I am human after all, but I do try to see a situation from both sides and offer practical advice to a question or issue at hand. Other than that its important to understand that the way I handle something is not necessarily the way that other people handle it. That doesn't make it right or wrong just different. Sounds very cliche' but if you can actually have that perspective it can be quite helpful to yourself and other people.