Love Letters

Today I will drift from my normal topic style a little bit. All of you know the nature of my husband Rob's job. Due to the nature of our lives he is sometimes away from home over night and sometimes for a few days. I always have a hard time going to sleep. Some part of me is waiting for him to come home. I read, watch TV and while he without fail will call and tell me good night and he loves me, I am still waiting for the warmth of his body next to me in the bed. I climb into bed and the dog and the cat snuggle in, but it just isn't the same.

It is in these moments that I think about everything that he means to me and to our family. I remember events, moments, feelings that I have because of him. My heart will ache with the love I feel for him. Many of you know that when I am overwhelmed with emotion I write to clear my head. These nights are no different. So, I write letters to Rob. My version of love letters. Sometimes they are hand written and I put them where he will find them. Other times I type them and leave them on the desktop to be discovered.

Do you tell your loved one's what they mean to you? I love Rob so much my heart aches for him even when he is just in another room. We are not a gushy couple. You will not find us fawning over eachother or showing pubic displays of affection. Do not be mistaken, there is a sentimental side to both of us. Rob has the first love letter I ever wrote him back in 1998 framed. It used to sit next to our bed, but he keeps it close so he can read it when he wants to. I sit in his lap and make him rock me at least once a week.

I write him love letters for me. I can express to him how I feel in a raw uncut way, that if I was speaking to him I would probably cry and it would taint the emotion I want to convey. He is not there when I write and I don't change the words because it is what I feel. I have a strong belief that if you feel strongly about someone you tell them. People need to know they are loved and appreciated. You will feel better knowing that you gave that positive feedback. Their actions go noticed and will foster more gifts of love to be poured out into the world.

Love is simple and complicated at the same time. The strongest love is showed in the simplest of ways. For us it might be that I make Rob's lunch everyday because I know that if I don't make it he might go all day and forget to eat. Rob hugs me when I need it and tells me it's going to be OK even when he doesn't know if it will or is busy. He knows I need the hug and stops what he is doing and gives it. Rob accepts the role I play as a primary caregiver and go to person for my family even though it sometimes gets in the way of plans we have because this is who I am and I can't change that.

Rob is my precious gift from God and I thank Him everyday for that. I know Rob feels the same way because when he hugs me on those days when I need it and calls me when he is away so I know he is safe, or sends me a note that says no more than "I love you" he is sending me his own love letters.

Love letters don't have to be confined to your spouse. As a teenager I gave out a love letter every year at Christmas. I would pick one family member I wanted to recognize for the special meaning they had in my life. This last year I bought a gift card for 1 cup of coffee for a group of co-workers that had been killing themselves. This isn't a grand gesture, but I wrote a note to them saying a simple thank you. I meant it sincerely. Put your love on display to the one's you love. Don't advertise what you do to the masses. Show it in little ways everyday that you are engaged and paying attention to what goes on around you. People in your life are pouring their love onto you. Can you see it? Are you recognizing it and then returning it with the same enthusiasm?

The point of this post was not to tell teh whole world how much I love my husband and how fabulous our marriage is. We are married and everyday you work to make it a success and that is what we do. The point of this post is to say to you as a reader, what and who are you passionate about? If you know what that is are you expressing that passion in a way that is tangible to those that need to hear it? Take action! You will be paid back ten fold for every small step action you make.

I love you Rob! You are my sunshine!

Who have you appreciated lately?

Instead of asking someone "What have you done for me lately?" Perhaps we should look in the mirror and ask who have we appreciated lately? Stop and think about the day you had today. How many times did you have a thought around whether someone was going to notice what you were doing and appreciate it for the gift that it was.

Everyone wants what they do to be noticed. Even commented on in as positive a light as possible. Aren't we taught to think to yourself "If I died today what would people say about me at my funeral?" That question will work for both purposes I suppose, but the point is still the same. Can we take our natural inclination to worry about ourselves and put it aside to recognize someone for something they are doing around them?

The general rule is that what you think about you bring about. It seems all the worrying that we do about people noticing our good works would be more highly recognized should we employ the idea of doing unto others as you have them do unto you.

All very cliche' but true all the same. Do you have a co-worker that takes a genuine interest in you and what you are doing? A friend that takes time to sincerely and specifically thank you for something that you have done? A complete stranger that thanks you for opening the door for them? It seems that we should be able to employ that same gratitude.

That doesn't mean running around trying to create a love fest all around you. This becomes overkill and turns into an in-sincere gesture that people becomes suspicious of. The trouble is that you have to be thoughtful and sincere in the appreciation that you apply.

Thank you is a simple courtesy, but going to someone and really thanking them for something that had a particular impact on you means a lot to people. They feel noticed and valuable. These are relationship builders that will benefit you for the rest of your life. Even if you do not remain in contact with that person for years to come. It will still create a persona for yourself that says you think about something other than yourself. Your purpose is for the greater good and not for the greater you. Resulting in your own need to be recognized to be fed at a level that you require.

First you have to decide if that is what you want in your life. Once the decision is made ask yourself..."Who have I appreciated today?"